Please Don't Say My Name
by Halawen
Summary: Asher Shostak is the new broadcast and print production teacher at DeGrassi and Clare is ecstatic. She'll do anything to learn from her idol. Asher is all too happy to mentor her but who will be there to help her when he takes advantage of her trust & makes the ultimate betrayal? Trigger warnings read with caution! Drama shot please read A/Ns.


**Welcome to tonight's shot!**

 **Legal: I own nothing but the idea.**

 **WARNING: This shot contains possible trigger warnings please read with caution.**

 **All the stuff to know before reading:**

 ***Starts with Come as You Are but Clare did not kiss Eli before break but they did work on the paper together and are friends again**

 ***Asher no longer works at The Interpreter and Clare does not have co-op this semester**

 ***Luke moved alone his family including Becky are still in Florida**

 ***Drew and Bianca got back together at the cabin during the summer and Katie is already dating Jake**

 ***There was already an announcement sent out that they no longer needed uniforms and that the Ice Hounds were coming so there's no assembly**

 **Unlike most of the recent chapters this one is not short. It is quite long so get comfy.**

 **Please Don't Say My Name**

 **(CLARE)**

"You look extremely giddy for being back at school," Drew comments when I come skipping up to him, Adam and Bianca.

"You get back together with Dr. Doom over winter break or something?" Bianca questions.

"No she didn't I would have heard," Adam replies.

"I'm giddy because Asher Shostak is my homeroom teacher! I can't believe the great Asher Shostak is going to be our broadcast and print production teacher," I grin practically jumping up and down with excitement.

"Who is Asher Shostak?" Drew inquires while Bianca and Adam only shake their heads.

"Only one of the greatest investigative reporters of our time, and former star reporter at the Toronto Interpreter who is now teaching at DeGrassi and I have him for homeroom!"

"She's star struck over a teacher?" Drew rolls his eyes.

"Not just a teacher Asher Shostak I have to go find him," I say with delighted enthusiasm and turn to run into the school.

"Hang on I'm coming with you," Adam comments following me in. "Clare slow down it's just a teacher," Adam scolds lightly grabbing my arm to stop me from running.

"Okay I know I'm being a fan girl but I can't help it Adam, Asher Shostak is my idol he is everything I want to be as a journalist. Now he's teaching at our school, I can learn from him firsthand, ask him questions maybe he can mentor me," I practically squeal.

"Alright come on let's go meet your idol," Adam grins putting an arm lightly around my shoulders.

We walk to our homeroom classroom; a blue sign with white lettering above the door reads **Communications Technology: Broadcast and Print Production**. I see Asher behind the desk looking at his laptop and I take a deep breath before I start jumping up and down with excitement and then Adam opens the door.

"Good morning, I'm Mr. Shostak. You know class isn't for another twenty minutes," he comments.

"We know, we're both in your class and I wanted to come early. This is Adam Torres and I'm Clare Edwards. I have to tell you it's such an honor and a privilege to have you as our teacher. To learn from you has been a dream of mine for a long time. You are my journalistic idol Mr. Shostak."

"I didn't even know who you were I just came to keep my best friend company," Adam says.

"Which makes you a very good friend," Asher smiles getting up from his desk. He walks around it and leans on the outside corner of the desk near us. "So Clare you want to be a journalist?"

"Yes I want to be an investigative journalist just like you. I can't believe you're teaching here at our school you've had such an amazing career as a journalist," I tell him.

"Yes well I needed a break and thought teaching the new generation would be a good way to keep it up and get a break. Seeing you and your enthusiasm for journalism," Asher says with a grin, "confirms to me that I made that right decision. I'm very much going to enjoy teaching if even a few of my students are half as enthusiastic as you."

"I don't think anyone else could possibly be as eager is Clare but it's good to meet you Mr. Shostak. We'll be back when the bell rings but we should probably visit our lockers," Adam says pulling at my arm.

"I've never been a teacher before, mentored a few interns but never taught a class. You'll both let me know how I do won't you?" Asher requests and I nod.

"You're going to be teacher's pet," Adam laughs as we walk down the hall to our lockers.

"I'm not teacher's pet I'm just eager to learn from the great Asher Shostak," I reply.

"So it's true Asher Shostak is actually teaching at our school," Eli comments walking over to us.

"You actually know who he is?" Adam questions.

"You know those long conversations you have with your girlfriend late at night?" Eli remarks.

"Not really," Adam shakes his head.

"Right well during one of those while I was dating Clare we talked about our heroes, I think she talked for an hour about The Great Asher Shostak," Eli teases putting his arm around me.

"Yeah she was practically jumping out of her shoes she was so excited," Adam laughs.

"Okay fine I'm a pathetic fan girl but I've seen you two before a Dead Hand concert you can't throw stones," I tell them.

"I have drama first period, see you guys at lunch?" Eli asks.

"Yeah sounds good," Adam says and I nod.

Adam and I get to our lockers which are close to each other. We put away books and greet Dave and Alli when they get to their lockers. We spend a few minutes talking and find out that Dave has the same homeroom that we do. When the bell rings Dave, Adam and I walk to class together.

"Hey billet brother guess we have the same homeroom."

"Mike Dallas this is my best friend Clare Edwards and our good friend Dave Turner. Dallas is captain of the Ice Hounds and billeted with us as you probably guessed," Adam introduces us.

"Hey Dave, and Clare was it?" Dallas questions looking me over with a salacious grin.

"No," Adam commands hitting Dallas in the stomach so he'll stop looking at me that way. Dave laughs, I blush and we sit down all in the front row. Adam and I sit in the two middle desks Dave takes the one on the other side of me and Dallas the one on the other side of Adam.

"Welcome to broadcast and print production, I'm your teacher Mr. Shostak. Some of you might already be familiar with my career," Asher says grinning at me and I smile biting my lip. Asher spends the first few minutes going over his accomplishments and credentials. Then he gives us the syllabus for the semester and tells us what to expect from him as a teacher and what he expects from us as his pupils. Last we watch a presentation that ends just as the bell rings. "Clare can I see you a moment?" Asher requests as we start walking out of class.

"Sure," I nod and look at Adam, "I'll see you in math."

"I could use a teacher's assistant to help me get oriented at the school and as a brand new teacher. I thought perhaps you would like the job; I could give you the benefit of my experience as a journalist. If your principal approves of course but you seem like a very intelligent girl, sharp and able to take on a lot," Asher says and I smile.

"I am and I can take on anything. I'm a straight A student, I was in the gifted program and advanced writing classes…oh that probably sounds like bragging," I apologize stopping myself before I tell him anything else.

"Didn't sound like bragging to me, you should be proud of your accomplishments. I'll speak with Mr. Simpson about making you my student T.A. for the semester. I have another class in a few minutes but come back during lunch and I'll let you know what Mr. Simpson says."

"Great I'll see you near the end of lunch then," I grin and have to just about run out of class to make it to math.

The rest of the morning is mundane and average, math is fairly easy and I spend most of class talking with Adam. We eat lunch with Eli who has decided to do another play and Adam promises to help but he's also auditioning for Mo's band. When I'm done eating I leave the guys and go inside to find Asher. He's in his classroom eating lunch but smiles at me when I come in.

"I spoke with Mr. Simpson and he granted permission for you to be a student T.A. he said you would get credit for it since it will be a job. You'll help in class and help me prepare for my other classes. It will mean working at some lunches, as well as before and after school occasionally."

"I don't care I'll do whatever you need. Thank you Mr. Shostak this is amazing," I grin ecstatically

"Wonderful, meet me after school then and we'll get started. And please Clare call me Asher."

"Okay then Asher I'll meet you after school," I tell him and leave the room to go to my locker but I feel like screaming with glee this opportunity is amazing for me. I just about skip to my locker I'm so thrilled.

"You look giddy again, almost high actually," Adam remarks when I get to my locker.

"Asher talked to Simpson and got permission for me to be his student T.A. this semester."

"Asher? You're calling him by his first name?" Dave asks and Alli looks at me.

"He asked me to," I reply.

"Clare is teacher's pet and we haven't even gone through a full day of school," Alli shakes her head.

"I'm not his pet I'm an assistant and it's a job, I get credit for it and everything," I correct.

They still snicker a little but I ignore them and get out my books. My afternoon classes cannot go by fast enough and I hardly pay attention. When the bell rings after fourth period I just about run out of class, quickly stashing my stuff into my locker before going to Asher's classroom.

"Good you're here let's get started, this will be a semester you never forget Clare. I will mentor you, shape your mind, teach you everything there is to know about being a journalist," Asher tells me.

I spend the afternoon helping him, little things like making copies and preparing tomorrow's lesson. I don't leave until almost five and get home just as dinner is being set on the table. Mom is very proud of me when I tell her over dinner that I'm Asher's teacher's assistant, and tells me it's an amazing opportunity. After dinner I do what little homework I have on the first day of school and then shower and go to bed. Jake parks at school the next morning and I go straight to Asher's classroom helping him set up for today's class.

"Thanks for the help Clare you are a great assistant," Asher grins putting a hand on my shoulder.

"Morning Mr. Shostak," Adam says from the doorway as he comes in with Dave and Dallas.

"Good morning boys please take your seats."

Class goes by rather quickly it seems and when the bell rings Adam pulls me out of class. At lunch Adam is eating with the band that also consists of Mo, Jenna, Zig and Maya. Eli is eating with Imogen and Fiona since they're all working on the play together. Which is just fine because I have a job as a teacher's assistant. When I get back to his classroom Asher isn't there but there are things I can do anyway.

"Clare you're so efficient, so eager. You remind me so much of me when I was young," Asher grins coming in with lunch and shutting the door. "Instead of working over lunch why don't we talk about your future. I may have taken a break from journalism but I still know a lot of people. Have you thought about where you want to go to university?"

"Colombia, I want to go to Columbia."

"An excellent school, I'd be happy to write you a letter of recommendation at the end of the semester."

"You're already doing so much for me."

"You're doing a lot for me too and it would be my pleasure," Asher smiles and I grin.

Over lunch he tells me about needing a break from the rigors of journalism so he took some free-lance jobs and fast tracked to get his teaching credential. With his experience he didn't need too much since he's teaching a specialty class. When the bell rings I leave for my next class.

This is how it goes for the rest of the week; I spend nearly every lunch and a couple hours after school helping Asher. I also spend a few mornings helping him and of course during class.

"Morning guys," I greet Adam and Dave when I get to school Friday morning.

"Hey Clare," they say at the same time.

"I'll see you guys in class I'm going to go see if Asher needs anything," I tell them walking off to his classroom.

Asher smiles when he sees me and he has me put packets on every desk for a class assignment. Adam and the other students come in just before the bell and a few of them run in just after. We're split into groups for the project; Asher splits us by row so I'm with Adam, Dave and Dallas.

"Clare," Asher says coming over while we're discussing our project, "I know it's Friday but can you come back at lunch?"

"Sure," I smile.

"Great I need your help with something for Monday's class," Asher grins and walks back to his desk. The bell rings a few minutes later and the four of us leave class together.

"Don't you think it's a little creepy the way Asher looks at you?" Dave asks as we walk down the hall.

"I don't know what you're talking about Dave," I reply.

"I do he gets this real creepy look in his eye every time he looks at you. He doesn't look at anyone else that way and you do spend a lot of time with him," Dallas says.

"Because it's my job as his student T.A. stop being paranoid," I scold them.

"Just be careful Clare, I do see him watching you a lot and watching you with a look that isn't entirely…appropriate," Adam says pausing to find the right word.

"You guys watch too many movies but I promise I'll be careful."

Despite the boys paranoia nothing happens after school when I meet Asher. I simply help him prepare a video presentation for Monday. The boys continue to comment on, as they put it, "Asher's attentions" towards me. I continue to think they're paranoid after all the first month of the semester goes by and despite all the time I spend with Asher nothing inappropriate happens.

"So what should we do for your birthday? Eli was thinking a huge party at my house, I was thinking Wonderland, we could go for the weekend. My dad did some legal work for them and could get us a good deal. It would be a maximum of eight people though," Adam tells me.

"A weekend at Wonderland could be fun, if I can convince my mom that I can go away for the weekend with boys."

"We'll think of something," Adam grins.

We go to our lockers and go to class, after class Asher asks for me to come at lunch and I tell him I will. Adam and I spend most of math talking about my birthday and when the bell rings I find Jake. He says he'll help me convince Mom to let me go and he's sure Glen will too. After that I go to Asher's class where he's waiting.

"Thank you for coming Clare I need some help grading the essays from Friday's class," Asher says motioning to a stack of papers on his desk. He brought in another chair and I sit down and begin grading papers. We're silent for about half an hour and then Asher speaks again. "Miss Oh thought there was some old newspapers in the library archive care to help me look for them?" Asher asks standing up from the desk.

"Sure I even know where they are I go to the library archive a lot," I smile getting up as well. Asher smiles and we walk to the library; Miss Rice the librarian gives us the key to the archive. We don't have a very impressive archive but it's pretty good for a high school. "The old newspapers are right here," I tell him pointing to the shelf.

Asher takes one down and looks at it, I take one down too opening my mouth to ask him what we're looking for but Asher suddenly smashes his lips to mine in a forceful kiss. I can't move or think, his lips seem to have taken all the breath in my body as I can't even breathe right now. And then like getting hit with a lightning bolt all my senses come back, I can breathe, I can move and I can think. My only thought is to run, I push Asher away and turn running from the archive room. I hide behind a shelf of books and compose myself taking a deep breath and then walk as calmly as I possibly can out of the library. There's too many kids in the hall, everyone is looking at me and I want to be alone so I go into the storage room. I expect to be alone but find Ice Hounds instead.

"Hey private party get out," Luke says, "unless you want to party with us."

"Go to hell," I growl at him.

"Leave her alone Baker," Owen warns him.

"You okay Clare? You want a beer?" Dallas offers.

"Sure," I reply going over and taking a seat by Dallas.

"You're going to drink?" Owen questions with his eyebrows raised in shock.

I ignore him and take the can of beer. I really have no idea what I'm doing but my nerves are shot. What happened plays over and over in my head and the more I think about it the more I want to vomit. I drink the can of beer down in one gulp even though it does not taste good. I feel fine for a moment and then I feel extremely dizzy and begin laughing for no reason.

"Whoa lightweight," Luke laughs and I laugh too leaning on Dallas since he's next to me.

"I'm pretty sure that's her first sip of alcohol ever and she just chugged it," Owen tells him. I keep laughing until the bell rings and the loud sound startles me. I grab onto Dallas instinctually and scream a little.

"Okay I think you'd better stay here and not go to class," Dallas comments.

"I'm on my spare I'll stay with you to be on the safe side," Owen says.

"Owen that's sweet," I giggle.

"Good luck man," Dallas replies and the rest of them leave.

"Okay so why the beer?" Owen inquires when we're alone.

"Because he kissed me, he actually kissed me."

"Who?" Owen questions.

"I can't believe he crossed that line, I trusted him!"

"Clare who?"

"No, no it had to be a mistake. It must have been a mistake I have to talk to him. I'll talk to him after school," I reply standing up. "Oh that was a bad idea, don't feel so hot," I whine and sit down again.

"Come," Owen says and then picks me up so I have no choice. He takes me out the back and walks me to The Dot. He goes through the back door of the café too. "HEY FITZ," he yells into the café although I'm pretty sure the entire block heard him yell and Fitz comes running into the back.

"Fuck Owen don't do that," Fitz scolds and then sees me. "What's wrong with Clare?"

"Tipsy or maybe drunk she's a feather weight, either way she needs coffee and water," Owen says.

"I'll be right back," Fitz nods.

He returns a moment later with coffee and a glass of water. Owen stays with me and I have three glasses of water and two cups of coffee and then I'm okay. I still don't feel very well but I don't feel the need to vomit or anything, just got a bit of a headache.

"Thanks Owen, remind me not to drink a whole can of beer in one sip again. Or ever for that matter beer is gross."

"It was cheap beer there is better, how do you feel?" Owen asks just as Fitz comes back.

"Like I can make it through my last class, thanks for staying with me, and thanks for the coffee and water Fitz. What do I owe you for the coffee?"

"Don't worry about it it's on the house, but you and Owen had better get back to school the bells going to ring in five minutes," Fitz tells us.

"Ugh I'm not running back to school," I groan.

"You can take my car," Fitz offers going to his locker and getting out his car keys and handing them to Owen. "I'm off at four I'll just pick it up when I'm off."

"Thanks Fitz," I smile. Owen thanks him too and we go out to Fitz's car, Owen drives us back which only takes a moment so we have plenty of time to get to class.

"Hey where were you last class?" Adam inquires.

"I wasn't feeling well," I reply which is sort of true. Dallas might tell Adam I was drinking but Dallas won't see Adam until around dinner time anyway. I make it through my last class and walk slowly to Asher's classroom. "Asher," I speak up and he looks up at me. I close and lock the door so we can talk privately. "About what happened in the library…"

"No it was entirely my fault Clare I hope you can forgive me for a moment of insanity. You are so mature and brilliant, we've been working so closely together and for a moment I lost my head. I forgot that you are my student and only sixteen. When I decided to take a break from journalism my wife left me and I've been so lonely and for the first time I…I mistook our friendship and I cannot apologize enough. Please I hope you'll continue to be my student teacher's assistant I couldn't have made it through this first month without you. It was a terrible mistake and entirely my fault I am so sorry Clare."

"That's okay," I sigh with relief, "I knew it had to be a mistake. We have been working closely and everyone gets lonely. It's perfectly understandable that you would mistake powerful feelings and closeness for something else. I'm just relieved it was a mistake and of course I'll stay on."

"Great, that's great and I apologize again. Uh you didn't tell anyone what happened did you?"

"No, didn't say anything I knew it was a mistake."

"Good, I still have a lot of papers to grade do you want to help?"

"Yeah I'd be happy to," I smile feeling much better knowing it was a mistake. I sit down at his desk and we start grading papers. The process goes slow because every few minutes Asher tells me a story about being a reporter. "That's the last of them, anything else I can do?"

"You really are amazing Clare," Asher smiles.

"Well it is my job," I grin.

"I know but you go above and beyond that," Asher says standing up.

"I guess it's just in my personality, I always do more than people ask of me."

"Yes you certainly do," Asher smiles and he looks out the one little window in the door to the hall. "You know I think we might be some of the last ones here."

"Yeah probably I didn't even realize how late it was, I got caught up in your stories. I should probably get home," I comment standing up as well.

"I can take you home," Asher offers stepping closer to me.

"No it's okay my house isn't that far," I reply.

"But it's dark outside, let me take you home, I insist," Asher tells me stepping closer and I back up into the desk falling on it a little.

"No I'll be okay I really think I should go," I assert trying to push him out of the way. He pushes me onto the desk but since the room only has one small window and few people, if anyone, is still here so no one will see us.

"I think you know the kiss wasn't a mistake and there is something between us. Something real, I know you feel it Clare. Since the moment you walked in here excited to be in my class," Asher grins grabbing my wrists and holding them down.

"No! STO…" I start to yell until Asher clamps his hand over my mouth. I try to fight and kick but Asher gets my legs apart. He grabs my wrists squeezing them together and reaches under my dress ripping off my panties. I scream but he stuffs the panties in my mouth so the sound is muffled and now I'm choking. My heart pounds, saltwater flows from my eyes and I struggle to breathe in quick shallow panting breaths. My stomach ties in knots, my whole body taught with fear because I know what's about to come. And even as I hear Asher's zipper opening I feel a part of me die.

 **(OWEN)**

"I'm going to go to the weight room, see you guys tomorrow," I tell the team as we get off the bus after practice.

"How can you possibly have the energy to go to the weight room after that practice?" Luke asks shaking his head.

"How can you even get in the school they locked the doors fifteen minutes ago?" Dallas asks.

"Are you kidding the school has three back doors, one with a padlock so old it's super easy to pick," I respond.

"What about janitors?" Cam questions.

"They don't even come until ten," I reply.

"I think he's done this a time or two before," Dallas comments and I nod.

I wave to the guys and go around back getting into the school. I start walking to the weight room when I hear heavy and hysterical sobbing coming from the girl's locker room. It's almost seven, our practice ran over because Dallas and Luke got caught with beer on their breath and the team got disciplined. No one else should be here so late and definitely not a girl crying in the locker room. I walk in cautiously and see Clare huddled in the shower, the water is running, her knees are pulled up to her chest, she's crying on them and still wearing her clothes and shoes.

"Clare what are you doing?" I exclaim turning off the water and she sort of screams covering her ears. I look around for a towel but don't see one so I take off my jacket and put it on her shoulders. "Clare what happened? What the hell are you doing in here?"

"Stop," she shrieks and I freeze, "don't say my name please don't say my name. He kept saying it over and over, he wouldn't stop I never want to hear my name again."

"Cl…" I begin and then stop myself, "Edwards what are you talking about? What happened? Who kept saying your name?"

"I'm such an idiot I believed him when he said the kiss was a mistake, I wanted to believe him. He told me it was a mistake and I believed him. I stayed, I actually stayed I probably fell right into his trap. I'm so stupid."

"Edwards who kissed you? What are you talking about?" I ask again

"I can't tell anyone, no will believe me, not after Darcy," Clare says and then looks me in the eye for the first time since I came in. "You know she tried to commit suicide right here after it happened, that's how we found out because my sister tried to kill herself."

"Yeah I remember, slit her wrists shortly after the ski trip because…" I pause as it hits me like a ton of bricks, "because she was raped! You were raped?! Raped by who? Where? We need to get you to the hospital, call the cops, Mr. Simpson."

"No they won't believe me, not after Darcy accused Mr. Simpson they'll never believe a teacher raped me."

"You were raped by a teacher?! Shostak, it was Mr. Shostak wasn't it? Dallas told me how he pays special attention to you," I comment and Clare nods. "I'm taking you to the hospital, I believe you and so will they and you have to go to the hospital," I assert and pick her up so she has no choice.

"Will you stay with me? Please I don't want to be alone, I can't…I can't do this. After what Darcy went through, after what it put my parents through. I know why Darcy did it, I know why she slit her wrists I don't want to live anymore not after what he did. Not after what he stole from me," she says and starts sobbing again.

"I'll stay, I'll stay with you I'm not going to leave you and you're not going to kill yourself either."

"I wouldn't but I know why Darcy tried now, I never understood before but I do now," Clare tells me as I begin walking outside.

"Darcy got through it and so will you, I'll stay with you as long as you need," I assure her.

"Darcy didn't remember anything I remember all of it," Clare tells me.

I don't know what else to say, I don't think I can assure her it will be okay. Not after what happened and considering what happened to her sister. We get to my car and I put her in. I get into the driver's seat and rush to the hospital, parking and carrying Clare in as she's in tears and hysterics again.

"What happened?" The nurse asks.

"She was raped," I tell her and the nurse motions for me to follow her. We go upstairs not to emergency, and to a room at the far end of the hallway, I put Clare on the bed. "A female doctor will be in shortly and I'll call the police," the nurse tells me while Clare shakes her head vigorously.

"It's okay I'll make the calls we know a cop, I need to call a few other people. Can I do it from the room? I promised not to leave her."

"Yes that's fine just use the room phone," the nurse replies and leaves the room.

First I call home and I know that number by heart so I don't need to look the number up on my cell. I tell my mom that a friend is in trouble and I have no idea when I'll be home, she says she loves me and be careful. I don't know Turner's number but I do have Dave's so I call him next.

"Hello?" Dave answers.

"It's Owen; we need your Dad at Toronto Western."

"Who's we? What happened?"

"Clare was raped by that Asher creep," I inform him.

"Fuck I knew he had a crush on her. We all did we all told her. That pedophile creep," Dave growls and then moves the phone from his mouth. "DAD WE NEED TO GO TO TORONTO WESTERN," Dave yells and puts the phone back. "We'll be there in ten minutes, less if Dad uses the sirens." Dave hangs up and I call Jake since I don't know Clare's house number.

"Jake it's Owen," I say as soon as I hear him pick up. "I'm with Clare she was raped tonight. She's in the hospital and she's scared. I'll stay with her and Officer Turner is on his way. Tell her mom but don't let her come down here unless her mom can stay calm."

"Raped?" Jake repeats and sounds like he might throw up.

"Yeah raped, tell her mom she's alive but keep her away from the hospital unless she can stay calm. The last thing Clare needs right now is her mom being hysterical, Clare's already hysterical enough as it is," I tell him and look at Clare who's not only sobbing on the bed but has the pillow over her ears because I've been using her first name.

I tell Jake I have to call Simpson and hang up. I don't actually know Simpson's home number but I do know Connor's cell number from football. I call Connor and tell him to send Simpson to Toronto Western then I hang up. Knowing Connor he'll just pass on the message without another thought. Just as I hang up there's a knock at the door and a female doctor comes in. She tells Clare she's going to perform a rape kit and Clare grabs my hand.

"Where are her underwear?" The doctor asks.

"He ripped them off and stuffed them in my mouth so I couldn't scream," Clare informs us and I almost throw up.

The doctor puts Clare's feet in the stirrups and I turn my back so I'm not watching but I don't leave because Clare is holding my hand tightly. When the doctor begins her exam Clare starts to scream.

"What are you doing?" I ask the doctor.

"A standard rape exam, unfortunately it's invasive and after what they've already been through screaming is a natural reaction for a victim," the doctor explains while Clare just keeps screaming and crushing my hand tighter. "Alright Miss Edwards that part is done; now I need to take photographs, please leave the room young man."

"No, he stays Owen you promised to stay."

"I'm not going anywhere, I'll turn my back take your pictures," Clare gives me a sad but grateful smile and sits up, taking my jacket from her shoulders and handing it to me.

The doctor nods and spends the next several minutes taking pictures of Clare with her clothes on and then with her clothes off. When she's done she gives Clare a hospital gown and draws some blood before telling us a nurse will be in with some medication for Clare. As soon as the doctor opens the door I see Turner, Dave and Simpson standing outside the door.

"They wouldn't let us come in while Clare was being examined," Dave tells us.

"Don't use her first name," I tell them after Clare shrieks at the sound of her name.

"I need to know what happened Miss Edwards. If you don't want to talk here then we can take you home after you've been released. I have your clothes and they'll send us the pictures," Turner tells her.

"Home I want to go home," Clare replies.

Turner nods and a nurse comes in giving Clare some pills and a prescription along with information for rape victims. Clare is released and since she has no clothes I give her my jacket again and she zips it up. I tell them I'll drive Clare home and Dave rides with us. As soon as I pull up Clare's mom runs out in tears and hugs her, Clare bursts into tears again when her mom hugs her.

"Mrs. Martin she needs to breathe," I tell her as Dave and I pull her away from Clare.

"Let's all go inside. I need a statement from Miss Edwards and then she can rest," Turner says.

We all go in and sit in the living room. Clare clings to me again; I guess she feels safe with me. We sit in the living room, Turner puts on a tape recorder and states who's present.

"Mom shouldn't hear this," Clare says.

"You're seventeen you should have a parent present," Turner tells her.

"She doesn't have to though and it is probably better if her parents don't hear it," I comment.

"He's right let's go upstairs Helen, Clare has plenty of people here to support her," Glen says and Clare covers her ears when he says her name.

"She doesn't want to hear her name," I tell them.

Helen starts crying again and Glen takes her upstairs but Jake stays. Clare begins by saying how she was excited Asher was a teacher at the school and was all too eager to be his teacher's assistant. She calls herself stupid at least a dozen times as she's talking about working with Asher and then she gets to the rape.

"I tried to fight but I was scared, it happened so fast and it didn't seem real. I tried to kick and he pushed my legs apart, I tried to hit him and he grabbed my wrists, I tried to scream and he tore my panties off stuffing them in my mouth. He stabbed himself into me and said my name and then he wouldn't stop. Every time he moved in or out he said my name over and over. I never want to hear it again," she says and stops for a breath. "When he finally stopped he told me to keep quiet, said no one would believe me and he knew that Darcy had falsely accused Simpson of rape. He made sure there was no one in the school, took me to the girl's locker room and told me to clean up. Then he left I think, the next I remember is Owen coming in."

After hearing the whole thing Jake runs to the kitchen and throws up. Everyone else, including myself I'm sure, looks green. Apart from feeling horribly ill I'm filled with rage and have visions of ripping off Asher's dick and stuffing it down his throat so he chokes on it.

"Asher will be terminated immediately," Simpson tells her.

"I'll send a unit down to pick him up for questioning. Don't worry Miss Edwards he won't get away with this," Turner assures her and Clare nods.

"I'll see you tomorrow Edwards, do you want me to tell Alli and the others?" Dave asks and she shrugs.

"You should stay home tomorrow, I'll alert all your teachers that you won't be in school," Simpson says and Clare nods again. They say goodnight, all offering words of comfort and Jake walks them out.

"I guess I should be going too," I remark but Clare squeezes my hand.

"Don't go, please stay Owen I just feel better with you here. I didn't feel even remotely safe until your jacket was on my shoulders. I know Asher's not here and you barely know me but…" Clare is saying when her lip begins to tremble and she almost bursts into tears again.

"It's fine, I'll stay, whatever you need," I assure her and Jake nods.

"I'll go tell dad and Helen Owen is staying do you need anything Cl…Sis?" Jake corrects himself.

"A time machine and the ability to keep myself from ever idolizing Asher Shostak."

 ******Epilogue******

 **(CLARE)**

"Good luck today Di," Alli says hugging me tightly.

"She doesn't need luck Asher's going to fry and if he doesn't I'll kill him and use his head as a hockey puck," Owen states.

"I vote for that option," Adam comments.

It's been a year since Asher raped me, a year since a single moment changed my life forever. After the rape it took me a week to even set foot in the school again. Everyone knew what happened of course, it was all over the school and the reason Asher had been fired. Everyone was shocked, some people accused me of making it up, a few people I knew stopped talking to me or being my friend. Thankfully my real friends stuck by me including Adam, Eli, Alli, Dave, Jenna, K.C. and Connor, Jake too but he's my stepbrother, and when she found out what happened Darcy came home. Additionally I made some new friends; Bianca, Drew and Dallas mainly and mostly because I spent an even greater amount of time at Adam's house. Fitz as well, after he found out he sent flowers and started bringing me lunch for the week I was home. They have all been very supportive.

And then there's Owen, he found me, made me feel safe, even stayed at my house not just that first night but for the next five nights. He slept on the floor of my room just so I would feel safe at night. We became friends and even went to prom together, we went as friends and by that time I was doing reasonably better it had been three months since the rape. We went to prom as friends but we kissed that night. That one kiss led to a date and the date to a relationship. We've been dating for eight months now, we're happy and I'm in love, I just haven't told him that yet. Our story might have been different if Owen had gone to a school other than U of T after graduation but he didn't. He got accepted to their kinesiology program and he's been a wonderful friend and an even better boyfriend. His Ice Hounds jacket, which he put on my shoulders that night and was the first thing to give me solace and safety that terrible night, he gave to me on our two month anniversary. I wear it almost every day even though it kind of swallows me.

Dallas stayed in Toronto and he goes to Centennial along with Drew while Bianca goes to Wilfrid Laurier and comes home every weekend. Eli got accepted to NYU and is very busy but he calls often and comes home once every two or three months. Jenna and Adam kept the band going after Mo graduated and the two are dating now. Jake followed Katie out to California but he e-mails every day and was home for Christmas. Darcy works at a rape crisis center in town and has an apartment not too far from us.

As for me I changed my name, I still can't hear the name Clare without cringing. I legally go by my middle name now Diana, but most everyone calls me Di some still call me Edwards. I don't mind as long as they don't call me Clare. Last week I sent an application to Columbia but I don't know if I'll get in. Even if I do I don't know if I'm ready for that yet. I also applied to Ryerson, U of T and Wilfred Laurier. I've also spent the last year debating whether or not I still want to be a journalist and honestly I still don't know. I attend a therapy group for sexual assault victims once a week. It helps some, writing has helped a lot and knowing Asher is behind bars has helped too.

Asher of course denied everything during his questioning but they found my ripped panties at his house. His DNA matched the seamen taken from me in the rape kit and he couldn't explain the physical evidence away. After the news broke that he was arrested for the suspected rape of a student it came to light that he was fired from The Interpreter for sexual misconduct. The reason he'd been fired had been swept under the rug because of who he was and the papers reputation so he was able to get a job as a teacher. Several former interns he had had at The Interpreter came forward with accusations of sexual assault. Even another student from a school where he had been a student teacher the year before while getting his credentials came forward to say that he'd assaulted her. Given all this the judge ordered him held without bail until the trial.

I've spent the last two weeks at the trial. It's been bitter sweet. Just as I was finally feeling like my life was coming together again and the trial ripped it all apart again. Eli came up to testify last week, Dallas testified so did Adam and Dave and of course Owen did. Owen's been really wonderful through everything even though the defense ripped his life apart too. The trial was over, the verdict and sentencing were today and Owen was picking me up from school to go to the courthouse.

"I vote for that one too, Asher should be used as a hockey puck, I'll help," Dave offers.

"There's so much evidence from me and the other girls he'll have to be found guilty," I comment but find myself squeezing Owen's hand.

"We should get going, we'll see you all at the Torres pad later," Owen says.

My friends hug me again, Owen puts his arm around me and we go down to his car. When we get to the courthouse I see Mom, Glen and Darcy. They hug me too and we all walk in together taking our seats. When Asher is led in I squeeze Owen's hand tightly. The judge comes in and when everyone is seated he looks at Asher. Asher is found guilty on all counts and the judge sentences him to twenty years. I breathe a sigh of relief and hug Owen as the rest of the courtroom begins cheering. Asher is led out cursing me and accusing us all of lying but I don't care. After some celebration in the courtroom we drive to Adam's Eli couldn't make it but Bianca did come for the celebratory BBQ, everyone else is here too.

"Guilty on all counts and twenty years," Owen tells them and everyone cheers.

"I hope he gets stabbed in prison," Bianca comments.

"He'll get raped, prisoners hate guys like that, he'll get a taste of his own medicine," Dallas grins.

"Good he deserves it," I comment.

Everyone is happy and people are talking about the verdict or the trial, some telling me congratulations although it seems something very strange to be congratulated for. After people begin to thin out and get food I take Owen's hand and pull him inside.

"Are you okay?" Owen asks.

"Yes just wanted to be alone for a moment," I tell him.

"Any particular reason, other than the fact that you just can't have enough time alone with me?" Owen grins and I laugh.

"Very true but I wanted to be alone when I told you for the first time that I love you."

"I love you too," Owen grins and gently places his lips on mine for a tenderly loving kiss, "I love you very much Edwards."


End file.
